ROBERT GOTT Naked Ambition. Reviewed by Karen Chisholm
If you’ve ever wondered what a crime novel written by Noel Coward might be like, Naked Ambition could provide some clues.
Fans of Robert Gott’s earlier William Power series, or his newspaper cartoon The Adventures of Naked Man, will not be all that surprised by either the subject matter or the style of his latest crime fiction offering, which does not indulge in anything like murder (the crime here is hiding with intent and blackmail) or even mayhem (heading straight into political machinations with a side serving of high farce instead).
Needless to say, up and coming junior minister Gregory Buchanan thought that having his portrait painted by the acclaimed artist Sophie White was a major coup even before she started talking about entering it for the next Archibald Prize. Buchanan is a politician possessed of a healthy ego and boundless ambition, though readers are left to speculate which side of politics he belongs to – or the preferred colour of its ties.
If only there was a tie to behold in the portrait, which currently hangs on the wall of his dining room but has not quite met with admiration from his nearest and dearest.
His wife Phoebe’s response, tempered by her background in PR, is:
‘You’re a politician, a public figure. What on earth were you thinking?’
When first shown the naked, life-size image of her son, his sardonic mother, Margaret, responds to Gregory’s timid assertion of the quality of the likeness with:
‘I’m sorry, I haven’t got to the face yet. The eye gets rather snagged, doesn’t it?’
Meanwhile, Phoebe has another concern:
‘Seriously, Gregory, what were you thinking? What are our friends going to say about it? And my mother. Well, we know what she’ll say. The one advantage of having a religious maniac for a mother is that you always know exactly what she’s going to say, and that it will be offensive and stupid.’
Enter Phoebe’s mother, Joyce, who, it seems, is a little more than a religious maniac. She’s delusional, ruthless, determined, pointed, horrible and more than a bit nasty. She is also extremely predictable and, despite wanting to push a petition at Gregory promoting the compulsory teaching of Christian doctrine in all schools (public / private / all religions), she takes a little time out to view the portrait, and responds with an initial reaction from central scriptwriting:
‘It’s pornography. I can barely bring myself to look at you. I feel soiled. Violated. It’s obscene, disgusting, horrific, an abomination. You should take it down at once and burn it, reduce it to ashes. Ashes.’
Meanwhile the conversation turns to whether a politician having a life-size naked portrait painted is a plus in a leadership battle or a closely fought election, or whether it assists any pretensions towards the prime ministership or other high office. As his mother puts it:
‘The scrotum is not a vote winner.’
Then more hysterical terms like ‘pornographer’, ‘odure’ and ‘whited sepulchre’ are chucked into the mix alongside more reasoned attempts to defend what, on the face of it, was a ridiculously daft and egotistical idea, but perhaps not an outright attempt to destroy the morals of the nation.
The arrival of Margaret’s other child, Gregory’s gay sister Sally, with her bike-riding lycra and no-nonsense attitude, continues a range of hilarious conversational gambits. Margaret has zero time for Joyce’s religious mania, and finds Joyce’s disapproval of her son and daughter galling – even if she has grounds of her own for some milder disapproval. She’s also very fond of daughter-in-law Phoebe, and Phoebe and Gregory’s impending ‘happy event’ – the announcement of which was supposed to be the reason for this family gathering – gets a bit lost in the slanging match that ensues over Gregory, his painting, and the observations Phoebe and her sister-in-law make about the artist’s interpretation of Gregory’s attitude and facial expression – a more comfortable aspect of the picture to rest their eyes on when confronted with a life-size image of a naked man in a dining room.
At some point the final major player joins the scene, with the doorbell announcing the startling arrival of State Premier Louise Wetherly. In her uniform of Chanel jacket and skirt, her determination intact, she has arrived, as she puts it, to ‘discuss something’ with her current transport minister.
‘… Now, before we go any further, I must explain why I’ve called on you at your home. There’s been an unexpected resignation from cabinet. The reasons are personal, but let’s just say there may be a press conference where the minister’s wife stands reluctantly at his side claiming that she trusts her husband and that the accusations against him are scurrilous. Needless to say, this is a disaster for us.’
She’s come to promote Gregory to the position of education minister. A promotion that brings with it the complication of his now becoming the very person Joyce wishes to champion her petition to the highest levels of the government. Which means he’s been dumped right in it. Marginal government, a teetering upcoming election campaign, a high-profile promotion – all of it is now threatened by the inclusion of a highly inappropriate painting in a major art prize, and everybody except Gregory is hyperventilating.
The set-up is frequently very funny, as you can imagine, with plenty of skewering of hypocrisy, fanatical religion and politics throughout. The wit is dry and acerbic, delivered in a style reminiscent of both Noel Coward and Oscar Wilde. And no handbags are harmed in the production.
The crime elements of the story are low-key, with the subsequent disappearance of the painting as predictable as the likely perpetrator and the motivation. None of which matters a jot, as Naked Ambition is about the journey, not the resolution.
Told in a highly theatrical, telling and sometimes downright cheeky manner, Naked Ambition is staged, clever, pointed and as subtle as a life-size portrait of a naked politician in a dining room. There are some lovely cameos of a couple of cops, some high farce with a few taxi and official drivers, and some electioneering tells about the joys of travelling, official appearances and what’s possibly the greatest crime of all – the influence-peddling and backroom deals that all too frequently lead to parliaments populated by the lunatic fringe.
Robert Gott Naked Ambition Scribe Publications 2023 PB 256pp $29.99
Karen Chisholm blogs from austcrimefiction.org, where she posts book reviews as well as author biographies.
You can buy Naked Ambition from Abbey’s at a 10% discount by quoting the promotion code NEWTOWNREVIEW.
You can also check if it is available from Newtown Library.
If you’d like to help keep the Newtown Review of Books a free and independent site for book reviews, please consider making a donation. Your support is greatly appreciated.
