MAGGIE WALTERS Split. Reviewed by Sanchana Venkatesh
Maggie Walters’ memoir goes beyond the clichés of Hollywood to describe what it’s like living with mental illness.
Maggie Walters was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder (now known as dissociative identity disorder) 30 years ago. On the outside, she is like any ordinary person: she works, takes her kids to school and extracurricular activities, catches up with friends, keeps house. But on the inside, she has ‘The Girls’, who speak to her, and sometimes take over.
In her memoir, Split, Walters attempts to describe what it is like to live this shared life, and the memoir is divided into three parts: Annie’s Story, Maggie’s Story, and Coexistence.
Annie is one of Maggie’s alters, the first of The Girls. We learn that Annie takes over or ‘becomes’ when Maggie is only three years old, as the family moves from the UK to Austin, Texas. What appears to be a normal family with three children migrating to another country, moving into a brick house, the parents holding professional jobs, only hides the sordid secrets.
These are the facts of how my life as Annie began. But these facts hide the truth. Beneath this veneer of domestic normalcy I was subjected to a childhood of abuse. And while I was an alter myself, I also became the organiser of The Girls, the system of alters who became, and I had to manage.
From there, we learn more about the abuse perpetrated by her parents. Walters doesn’t hold back. She describes sexual abuse from just before the age of four. First by her father, then, gradually, her father’s friends. Her mother is complicit in the abuse, holding resentment of Maggie while also being emotionally abusive. School is meant to be a refuge, but it isn’t. This is partly due to a lack of self-care and hygiene compared to her classmates, and partly due to being overweight.
I held fat close, encouraging it to become my intimate friend. Fat was a comfort accepting me no matter the circumstances.
At 18, Walters leaves home and attempts university to pursue journalism, but struggles with academic pressures. She becomes involved with the local Bible College, where she finds faith and friends. However, she also struggles with gaps in her memory and anger outbursts. Eventually, she starts seeing a therapist, then another. And through keeping journals for the second therapist, she learns about her diagnosis of multiple personality disorder. Walters takes us on the rest of her journey – through therapy, meeting her husband, moving to Australia, and, most importantly, learning about her alters, and then living with them.
Despite the heavy themes of complex trauma and mental illness, Walters’ memoir is eventually hopeful. She juggles motherhood, marriage, friendships, with her mental illness. The writing is measured, the voice strong. Some parts are painful to read but Walters gives readers trigger warnings so we can step away if needed.
Overall, this is a very personal and important book. Not much is known about DID. Our knowledge of mental illness is usually based on Hollywood, and sometimes dangerous stereotypes are perpetuated. Walters shows us what it’s like to be able to live with mental illness, to get help, to heal. This memoir is likely to help those with DID and other mental illnesses, but is also a testament to the work Walters has done to survive her trauma, to rebuild herself, and to live her life.
Maggie Walters Split: A life shared: living with multiple personality disorder Blue Gum Publishing PB 2024 365pp $39.95
Sanchana Venkatesh is a writer and psychologist living on Cammeraygal land in Sydney’s lower north. You can find her on Instagram @sanchwrites and find more of her writing on www.sanchwrites.com
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